


The Only Way Is Up

by Severina



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Community: on__impulse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-04-11
Updated: 2005-04-11
Packaged: 2017-10-10 04:55:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/95718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Severina/pseuds/Severina
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On the 24th day, Daphne offers him peach yoghurt.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Only Way Is Up

**Author's Note:**

> Post Episode 307  
> Written for LJ's On__impulse community. Story had to contain the following words: headlight, disillusion, quicksand, fade, ashes

In his less melodramatic moments, Justin admits that fidelity, or lack thereof, has as little to do with the reason he left Ethan as romance had to do with the reason he left Brian. But that thought leads him back to his gauche display on the dance floor under the watchful eyes of a 50-foot Rage cut-out, and the vulnerable look on Brian's face, and the clammy touch of Ethan's hand as they walked away. To rooftop concertos and roses and chocolate that tasted like ashes on his tongue. To six months, give or take, of trying to make it work because he wasn't a quitter, as nine months in his initial pursuit of Brian Kinney clearly proved. To finally admitting that he turned his back on the only real love he's ever had, or ever wanted, or ever will want, and that he doesn't know shit about getting it back.

Justin spends 23 days being as quiet and unobtrusive as possible, trying to fade into the background as eagerly as he formerly sought the spotlight. Debbie lets him cut back on his diner shifts, and strangely doesn't comment when he carefully schedules himself onto shifts that will let him avoid Brian at all costs. He doesn't complain that Daphne's spare bedroom is actually slightly smaller than the walk-in closet he had at his mother's house, or that the headlights from passing cars shine directly on his bed. His dreams are so crazy that he doesn't mind being woken up from them, anyway. He throws himself into his art, creating seven new pieces that all feel like melancholy and disillusion, and destroys them all, feeling a perverse sense of joy as the paper crumples in his fist.

On the 24th day, Daphne offers him peach yoghurt.

Justin decides that unobtrusive is highly overrated, and if he wants to escape from the quicksand his life has become, he just has to find a rope and tug.

* * *

It doesn't take a genius to figure out that the Impoverished Schoolboy has been expelled.

Brian can be inconspicuous when he wants to be, and he sits in a corner booth and listens to Deb moaning to anyone who'll listen, and many who would rather not, that Justin has refused to come "home", choosing instead to live with Daphne and pay rent, and lord knows she never minded footing the bill for him before and would again, he's like a son to her, and on and on and on. Brian sips his lukewarm coffee and finds it not at all surprising that Debbie has conveniently forgotten the monthly cheques he tossed into her bank account.

Brian spends 23 days telling himself that it doesn't matter, Justin means nothing to him, but he still finds himself scanning the crowd at Babylon for a familiar blond head and equally familiar swivel of hips. His backroom visits double but no-one shares his bed, and he discovers that he always makes it home by three.

On the 24th day, Gardner has to nudge him to attention during a client's particularly long speech about his product, some new brand of yoghurt.

Brian decides that Justin better make a move soon, or he'll be forced to permanently damage the Kinney mystique by doing something drastic.


End file.
